Healing From Past Experiences Required Inner Work

Transparency Thursday: Comment and drop a 💯 if you can relate. Each week, I want to share transparent stories boy my life/mental health in an effort to motivate others to not suffer in silence!

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I had an "AH-HA" moment in 2021 -- I realized my past experiences and mistakes were still haunting me every day and had taken captive over my life. The way I was living my life was in a way to avoid and pretend my past didn't happen to me...BUT IT DID! I was hoping if I tried to think I moved on, that I would forget about what happened. 😂😂😂 They didn't go anywhere except get buried deeper into my subconscious mind until I was triggered again. I was honestly ashamed of sharing my past experiences with other people because I was afraid of being judged or looked down on. Growing up, I always said I'll never allow myself to get close to anyone or expose my life because I didn't want to give anyone ammunition to use it against me in the future.

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Since going to therapy, I've learned to accept and embrace every life experience. My past experiences were MY experiences that shaped me to be where I am today. Do I regret any mistakes - HELL NO! Do I wish things were different - HELL YES...however, I wouldn't change anything about my past. In therapy, I really focused on healing from past trauma and mistakes because I have goals that I want to reach. The more I allowed my past to keep me hostage, the longer my goals were going to be delayed. Do I get triggered at times, HELL YES because I am not perfect and things don't happen overnight. However, I am learning to redirect my negative emotions to positive ones so that, with time, my subconscious mind will automatically do that.

Have I self-sabotaged relationships and friendships - YES! Have I been in an abusive relationship - YES, even if it only happened once. Have I been cheated on - YES! Have I doubted myself and talked myself out of great opportunities - YES, It's called Imposter Syndrome. Have I tried to kill myself - YES, Multiple times. Have I doubted therapy - YES. Have I drank two bottles of wine in a matter of hours - YES. The list goes on.

I am just glad I don't allow my past to define who I am today and what I want to be tomorrow! I am learning and working every day to not allow negative thought to creep in and try to steal my joy. Instead, I am working on filling that space with happy thoughts and positive energy!

🛑 DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE 🛑