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  • Writer's pictureMarion Boyd

"Never let them see you cry"...thee most inaccurate statement

When I was growing up, I use to hear the phrase "never let them see you cry." That phrase meant to not show emotions in public or especially around people you don't associate with or like. I know little boys use to be told that a million times to instill in them toughness...I guess. As an adult now, I now realize how inaccurate that statement was back then and still is today. God created emotions for a reason whether you're showing them in front of people or behind closed doors.

I have several issues with this statement but I'll only highlight three of them and why I believe this statement should be DISCONTINUED.

ISSUE 1: IT STOPS PEOPLE FROM SHOWING EMOTIONS. I get it that people don't want to be emotional in front of people because it's said to be "a sign of weakness"...BLAH BLAH BLAH. This phrase is preventing people from being comfortable with their emotions and expressing them. This can affect friendships, relationships, marriages, work relationships, and even yourself. If you're so use to not showing emotions around other people who is to say you can show emotions when you're alone? You need more support when you are alone and emotional because no telling what crazy thoughts swim in your mind. You need that safety net-- someone to empathize with you.

ISSUE 2: IT PREVENT'S MEN FROM BEING VULNERABLE. Men are taught at an early age to be tough and to be a man 🙄. They are constantly given the phrase "Man Up", "Stop crying, that's for punks", "Boys don't cry", or even "Toughin' up or I'm going to give you something to cry about." First off, I didn't know crying equated to the sexual orientation "punk" referring to a member of the LGBTQ community. Second off, I didn't know crying meant you weren't a man. These are soooo far from the truth. Believe it or not, that's why a lot of men are emotionally unstable today...because they never was allowed to show emotions or even taught how to show emotions in a healthy way. Instead, they show their emotions by being aggressive towards other people and other things. Men should be able to be vulnerable and not feel embarrassed about it - PERIOD.

ISSUE 3: IT GIVES A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION THAT SHOWING EMOTIONS MEAN YOU'RE WEAK. Ummm...showing emotions never means you're weak; instead, it shows that you are strong. It takes a lot of will power, vulnerableness, and intention to be emotional around someone. Just think about it...a lot of people nowadays have a hard time showing emotions because they were always taught to not show them. This way of thinking makes it very hard for people to express themselves, be vulnerable with themselves, dismiss their feelings, or not even be aware of them. This is why protecting our minds is so important. We have to be in tuned with our emotions at any given time because if not, we become blind to them.


I challenge you today to express yourself if you are ever in a situation where your feelings need to be communicated. Don't hold back on your emotions just so you can appear to be strong in front of the person. If you want to start expressing yourself, start with learning how to be vulnerable. You can be vulnerable and still be manly. You can be vulnerable and still be strong. You can be vulnerable and still be human. You can be vulnerable and still be dope as hell!!!!

Please like, comment, and share with others. Don't forget to follow my IG page @marionellecoaching!

Check out this inspiring video why emotions are important.

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