People are good at sharing what they do to maintain their mental health, but very seldom do people share the woes and struggles of the journey. We are always sharing about how we journal X amount of days a week, do some sort of meditation or yoga throughout our week, talk to our therapist once week, set boundaries, etc. but what about those nights we were crying before we picked up our journal to write? Or what about the times when we contemplated suicide before making that phone call to our therapist?
There is definitely an ugly side to mental health that people rarely talk about. 9 times out of 10, we are silent about our struggles and challenges because we are afraid of being judged. Let me break it down for you...
Before we can ever get to the brighter side of our mental health journey, unfortunately, we have to first go through some dark moments. You see people living their best life, smiling, minding their own business, and thriving, but what you don't see are the moments that are kept behind closed doors.
Coming from someone who walked around with a smile on my face but behind closed doors, I was a mess... let me tell you, it's not pretty. We hide behind our smile to keep from losing it all and just giving up. When we are left in isolation, that's when:
Reality sets in: Our issues have not gone anywhere, in fact, they were just suppressed temporarily.
Our emotions get the best of us: Our emotions remind us that we are human and that we are still hurting from whatever it is that got us to that point.
We have zero care in the world: Sometimes, we tend to drown in our sorrows and that's all we can think about. As a result, we have little care about the people and things around us. We really don't be caring about anything especially other people's problems.
The timing of our death becomes clearer: Yep, I said it. We be seconds away from calling it quits and throwing in the towel but we also be holding on to fear and hope. We are typically afraid to call it quits but at the same time, we can get an itch of the "I'd rather suffer for a few seconds ending my life than to suffer for another day".
Let me tell you something...When someone does these things, please don't always be quick to judge them or cancel them out.
🗣 Cancel plans very last minute: We all know life happens and things change causing someone to cancel at the last minute. What's also a possibility is we suffer from social anxiety and don't want to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Maybe we were up for it at first but honestly, anxiety can kick in at anytime changing a person's mood.
🗣 Get emotional at random times: Even though we wear a smile on our face, internally, we are still battling with a mental health condition. Maybe it was a random thought or what someone said that made us realize we aren't okay. Our emotional outbursts can occur at random times and no, we can't anticipate it coming.
🗣 Your call or text was ignored but we are on social media: Sometimes, we aren't in the mood to talk or be bothered by anyone. Don't take us ignoring your call and/or texts to heart because trust me, we want to talk but we don't have the social energy to do so. Being on social media can be therapeutic at times and lets us escape from our misery for a little bit.
🗣 Come up with excuses for things: We do come up with excuses as an easy way to get out of things we don't want to do-- it's just easier. We can simply say we don't want to do something or whatever, but the energy to explain the reason is just too much. An example of the true reason can be like "I don't want to do it because of my social anxiety flare ups. I don't want to embarrass myself." We honestly don't want to explain this statement or reassure you that we are okay.
Take it easy on people who are struggling, especially in silence. We really don't want to be this way but our mental health conditions are stronger than our physical ability, at times. So, yes we do our journaling, meditations, yoga session, therapy sessions, self-care days, and so much more. In the midst of all of that, we still have our emotional days, days we want to give up, or moments we just want to go under the radar. Often times, we would consider ourselves high-functioning adults.
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